Wednesday, December 29, 2010

My Firsts - Things i'll never forget for the rest of my life!

So i just watched this movie "Mini's Firsts" i wouldn't recommend it because its not really awesomeness but rather okay. However, if you are Nikki Reed fan, you must watch this, she looks hot, total bombshell in this movie, you just can't miss it out. I also, just realized she is almost the same age as me, having born in the same year i am which is pretty cool, which makes this post even more special.

So as i was saying, this movie may not be that good but the idea was awesomeness!. Basically in the movie, Mini(Nikki) has this list of things she has done for the first time in her life and calls them "Firsts". She continuously expands the list by doing new kind of adventurous and daring things for the first time, such as becoming an escort and other crazy things. Way to enjoy life!.

So being a fan of Nikki, and in dedication to this movie, i am compiling my own list of Firsts and making a resolution to expand this list with most daring, bizarre and generally awesome things. Actually, i just made my first resolution, my First New Year Resolution!, as strange as that may sound, i never made any new year resolution because well i knew i wouldn't make them happen but my first resolution, its going to happen. So my list...

Steyny's Firsts

First Approach:  I approached a perfect hottie back in Nov 09, a certified 10 and apart from a little sweating and running away after striking a conversation, i did good. That makes me awesome from billion losers who still can't approach the girl they eye for their whole life, have her photos walled next to the toilet seat and creeping her out by drolling and eyeing her like i do a pizza that i am just about to eat or from guys that do approach but with most creepiest openers. She liked me and she probably would've been my first girlfriend if i hadn't had a nervous breakdown.

First Girlfriend: Okay i have to admit, not trophy worthy this First, but if i had known i'd start a list of Firsts, she wouldn't have been my girlfriend, not my First at least. Not much to say here, she was young and cool but not cool enough to deserve a first sadly.

First Time Smoking: I remember, when i had my first cigarette, i said "WHAT ? is this why people smoke, this is bullshit and they said smoking is addicting". I felt nothing so i smoked another, nothing, and another till i blew the whole pack and it was then that i started to get my first high. That was awesomeness!. It didn't last long though, barely just for an hour because i went to sleep!. That was it actually, i never got high again no matter how much packs i blew and i realized cigarettes don't addict me or get me high, then i started crack cocaine and stuff like that. No, Of course i am kidding about crack, No matter how enticing that offer is and no matter how much my friends try to convince me, drugs won't make my Firsts. I quit smoking with rather ease, i got good genes, so it didn't addict me. So all girls who want to date me and are disgusted with cigs, don't worry that is history. I haven't smoked for almost a year now!. Although i'd start again if theres a hottie that does it, just to company her...really.

The list is pretty long but thats all that i could think of right now and interesting of em. Now, here's a list of Firsts i would like to make...

  • Getting slapped by a girl after i tell her to stick her tongue out and then kissing it!. Awesomeness.
  • Skydiving or Bungee jumping or any of adrenaline rushing activity of similar intensity
  • Anal Sex  <-Select the text if you want to read but i warn you, some of you may not be quite fond of it and may be disgusted!. Its in guys genes and every guy dreams of it so don't just blame me, i want to do it after taking all necessary steps.
  • Dating my first fatty, just for the fun of it.
This idea of First is awesome for the fact it inspires to start living the life in a more fun way and making the most of it, after all we get it only once, and it especially would motivate some of the timid ones to be adventurous. Not to mention the nostalgic aspect that comes with it when you make historically awesome Firsts.

So what are your Firsts ?...

PS: This movie makes my favorite of all time even though i don't think high of it and Nikki Reed gets my love for starring in it and damn shes so hot!

PS2: I would work to make her my first celebrity bang!. Wish me luck for it are a tough task. 

PS3: Yes i am alive, sorry for the long break and not blogging. Had a lot of stuff happening lately so couldn't get the time.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Being do you pass your time ?

So how do you pass your time when you're alone ?. The best way obviously (or for me) is to go out, call friends and chill or hang out with my girlfriend and do stupid things or meet new people (especially girls) or anything that involves socializing or just going out. BUT what if you're sick and forced to sit or lay on bed all day ? and your friends are out enjoying at a pub  and your girlfriend is crying for you along with her friends at another pub so they can't come.

Well then you have to do one of these things.

Get a few movies of different genres and watch them one by one. The genres should include
  • Horror/Supernatural thrillers and Zombie movies: Such as Zombieland , Resident Evil: Afterlife , Nightmare on Elm Street , Devil , Afterlife.
  • Romantic/Comedy movies: To ease the tension, such as Forgetting Sarah Marshall , Get Him to the Greek , The 40-Year-Old Virgin , He's Just Not That into You (chick-flick so uhmm...).
  • Others: Bitch Slap , Fast & Furious series! , The Social Network , Hardwired , xXx (No, not what you think, its a movie of Vin Diesel) , Taken.
 and watch them alternating between each genre so you don't get bored. That should be enough to pass enough time to get recovered.

Or if NOT, then this will do. Grab your favorite music and start reading blogs and browsing forums. For me it has to be anything by Lady Gaga , Linkin Park or rock music.

Blogs can be pretty interesting, i'd recommend those of my followers ;) and dating blogs, they're fun. Tucker Max is another fun place. Stay away from moma blogs which most of the internet is filled with unless you want to have kids and want to parent, they definitely aren't for you. These blogs will seriously make you sick of the idea of having a blog (with the exception of few ofcourse!).....i warned you!.

You can also do the NERDy fun things and code a sick program and be a billionaire like Mark Zuckerberg by coding such cool thing as Facebook but i doubt that, you probably lack the IQ to do that (no offense) so i wouldn't recommend it.

Or if you don't have the luxury of a computer or a laptop! then grab hold of your cellphone or PDA and start doing the above things, movies, music or playing games. This is why you should keep fun stuff on your PDA all times for emergency cases. You can also take revenge on your friends for not coming and bombard their phones with messages, calling them. Or you can take naked pictures of yourself and facebook them to gain international fame (doesn't work if your a guy), of course i wouldn't recommend this!. Another fun thing is prank calls, they're pretty FUN!.

OR lets suppose, you don't have a cellphone or any kind of mobile device either (oh boy!) then well i am kinda out of options, give me a few mins.

Okay back, you can then do the following and its the best thing. If you are religious then nothing beats the calmness and peaceful feelings you get by praying, it is actually a better option than all of the above and it has the added benefit of speeding up your healing process. I'd recommend it even if you have the above options available, nothing beats it!.

You can also do what fatties love to do, EAT!.  Yes you fat bustard, you hear me right, eat like there's no day tommorow, it only helps with speeding up healing process as your body needs extra calories and nutrients to fight off germs and repair. Warning: Stay away from fatty foods, that doesn't help!.

This is also actually a good time to get a pen and paper and write what you want to do with your life, write resolutions and commitments to change your lifestyle to a better one.

So its actually not that hard to pass time when you are alone with just you, after all the best person in the world is our own self of course and a little alone time is not bad.

This entry is brought to you thanks to my disease that leaves me alone in room and not able to go out and i wondered how best could i pass my time with lack of all things social and i came with the above ideas. If you have other ideas, share please, i would love to listen!.

PS: Some other not so recommended things that you can do:  Smoke cigarettes, hookah or drugs, kill cockroaches and bugs, play with bugs, walked naked in the house, call a stripper , make a video-tape and suicide.

PS2: ^I am kidding of course 

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Girl who...well i am sure was an athletic runner!

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear. -Mark Twain

So how do you be courageous and beat the fear of approach ? by approaching and approaching in the most goofyish way. This little story of mine goes back to the time when i was just starting out on the journey of being fearless, extremely confident and approaching strangers without pouring down sea of sweat and nervousness.

I was with my friend getting back to our villa(dorm) and i was mocking him how he has got so many guy friends but very few females, he must be gay. He said its different with girls, you can strike up a conversation with any guy and be friends in 5 mins but with girls, its a different story. So not true, its just your fear of rejection/approach....i told him, girls are way more receptive, i can strike up a convo with any girl you see on the street here. So this got us to betting if i approach a girl right then, he would owe me a pack of cigarettes of X brand(that brand was my fav when i used to smoke, if anybody want to know its name, shoot me a comment). Whats more enticing than a pack full of smoke ? Seriously... there's just no alternative so i agreed, lets do this shit.

Just as we agreed on the bet, i saw a (let me remember, checking files in my memory....k found) hot brunette with a body i imagine my girls to have, not too skinny(or anorexic), not too chubby, just the perfect balance and the white milky skin, ehmm perfect!. But hold on a she running ? almost running...she was walking but at a really fast pace and i mean like at REALLY fast pace.... check the map out

As we were turning towards st(reet).2, she was at the intersection and then at blink of eye, way far ahead than intersection. Damn, she had the fastest walking speed i've ever seen a girl have. So i decide on approaching her, my buddy as obvious thinks its a bad idea, i also think its a bad idea in my mind at least but still, the offer of pack of cigarettes and that milky white skin is too enticing to pass.

So i run, YES i run after her but shes way too fast, shes not even running, just walking wtf. Imagine that, i am running after her in the middle of street full of people staring at me, it definitely made me look like a stalker or something, only if i had a knife in hand, that would've made things a lot more interesting. I could hear my buddy laugh, at my inability to catch her despite running and probably at how funny the situation wasn't for me, don't laugh you bustard. As i finally get near her, i shout

Me: "hey listen..."

she turns her head and looks at me....i am out of breath by now (sidenote: smoking really kills lungs cells and makes the stamina non-existent, i used to bodybuild but it can't help when you chain-smoke and run 1km after a girl)... She looks at me with those curious eyes, damn she had beautiful eyes with stars in it...
So i tell her: lets sex sweetie, she gets to the job immediately and we start loving eachother in the middle of street with 500 people and a dog watching us rip eachother clothes and.......the rest is history
Only if it was that easy in real life. I catch my breath quickly and tell her

Me: "hey you walk too fast...." (this was my opener ughh..)
Her: laughs...
Me: "i was just wondering where is X place"..i ask for directions (i didn't really needed to know but it works as icebreaker)

   .... meanwhile my friend just behind my back is whispering into me ears she's not really receptive and just rushing things...she hears this because well he was NOT really the situation kinda gets creepy cause she hears what my bud 'whispered' into my ear...i speak....

Me: "this is not true what my friend says right ?" (i actually ask her that hahaa...lame)
Her: "nope" .. and then goes on explaining the directions (hahaa)

at this point, i could feel from her eyes she is assuring me that she is receptive and really wants to talk, i can't explain it really, it was body language or more precisely eye language...she wanted me to invest and talk more....but my friend is again annoys me so i think of ejecting before shit hits the fan again...

Me: "alright walk really fast though"
Her: laughs again and turns her head and resume her lightening speed.
Me: "oh and my friend is gay"....i shout at her back
She hears it and put her hands up giving a thumbs up hahaa.

Then i start kicking and punching my friend for being an asshole and get my pack of cigarettes at the next shop...i win!. I lose the girl though, she was really cool and had a sense of humor and a milky white skin...i love girls like that. And especially when you ask her stupid questions like that (are you receptive ?) and she still be cool about it, then im all hers.

I went on and approached some hot nurses later on, i may blog about it later but this approach was special. It completely crushed my fear because i was acting goofy (running like an ass in a street, asking her stupid questions). My friend still didn't change his mind and had fear of approaching, i am now sure he is gay.

PS: I figure the reason why she was running. 2 mins from where i approacher her, there is a medical complex, she entered there. I felt kind of bad then, maybe someone close to her was ill cause she was in serious rush. I made her day though...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Perfect Way To Accept Marriage Proposal

Girls, What do you do when your boyfriend proposes you with an expensive engagement ring ?. No idea ? Worry not, Hillary Duff has the answer and shows exactly what you need to do. Here's what

When your NHL boyfriend Mike Comrie pops the question and gives you a 1 million dollar ring

You Cry...

You drink some alcohol while being all emo..

You immediately go out and text a picture of the ring to your friends to rub it in...
and then you suck a dick and you suck a dick fast and give your boyfriend the blowjob of his lifetime

Take notes ladies!. This is how it's done, this is how you accept the proposal, nobody could've done it better than Hillary Duff. What better way to start your relationship than pleasing your man and giving him a Million Dollar BlowJob!

Man...i am starting to love Hillary Duff,  there's no question whether she gave anal the wedding night. Perfect, just the perfect way to please your fiancĂ©e!.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sex: An amazing exercise....!

Its old news but for those who still don't know, Sex is an amazing exercise you can use to lose weight while having a good burst of adrenaline and fun. Don't believe me ?...check this article by Fitness Magazine.

So this is another reason why fat people are fat, they don't get sex as much as they should or NOT at all, who shags fat people anyway ?.

So next time, you plan to goto gym, head back and do the "shag-workout", its more fun and productive*. The good thing is you don't need any machines to do it except another person also interested in weight-loss so you can do it at home, at office, at library, university classroom(recommended) or anywhere you wish..!.

*Beating off doesn't count

PS: All fat people discard this advice and head to your nearest gym please. This isn't for you and fat people shagging fat people is gross plus you may not be able to afford the broken beds and furniture that comes as a byproduct of this exercise. That said, happy shagging.....:)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Me, A Jerk and Two Damsel in Distress

This actually happened quite long ago, at least 2 years ago to be precise but i am posting it since its one of many odd things that have happened to me and i was quite young then, took me by complete surprise and now that i think of could have resulted in serious consequences if it hadn't happened like it did. So let me start....

It happened around the time when winter was just about to start and so the night would start pretty early and get completely dark at around 7 PM. I used to live in dorm and was getting back from work in bus. In the bus, just in front of where i was seated, there were two women and a guy on their left. This figure would clarify their positions

_ Guy_     _Women _
_ _ _ _     _ _ Me _ _
- represents seats. 

I had a pretty weird and odd feeling about the whole situation and the women like something was wrong, you know the kind of odd feeling you get about someone ?. I couldn't point my fingers at it but there definitely was something about them. They were dressed pretty exotic and in their 30s, good-looking, i thought Cougars ? but immediately dismissed my thought as people aren't usually what they look. The guy was pretty good-looking, but acted like a total creep. Long gelled hairs and ugly trousers and t-shirt, he badly needed some fashion advice. But the thing most wrong with him was he was staring at the women like a total creep and his intentions weren't good. The whole situation looked pretty grim.

But i thought about minding my own business. It was night and pretty late around 9 PM, completely dark, cold and quite on the road. And where i lived, it was pretty common robbers and generally low-life's set up traps like this, get you in a quite, dark place and then rob your underwears....of course along with whatever your wearing on top. In fact a lot of gangs were working on this and the ladies worked as bait to lure the poor victims. So yeah, despite my monumental figure, i thought being safe is the wise choice.

So i got-off the bus at my stop and started walking towards where my dorm was. The dorm was at 10 mins walk from bus-stop so i took my cellphone and started to switch and listen to some music. As i am doing this, i hear noise of two women talking behind my back. I look back and see those two women i saw in bus walking behind me. The creep was following them too. This is going to be a long-ass and interesting night....i thought to myself.

I am walking and analyzing the situation, the ladies were walking just behind me, really close to me. I could hear what they're talking...the prettier of the two was saying...

What a creep...Is he thinking of scoring with us ?, Doesn't he have young ladies to stalk...I am his moma's age for Heavens sake!

That actually made me laugh...but yes Ma'am, he's a CREEP. So by this point i start to size up the creep...he was actually quite tall than he appeared to be in bus by about 5/6 inches...i didn't needed a scale to figure he was taller than me about 4/5 inches. He was pretty thin though. A tall, thin, long haired creep!. Yes, i was thinking about doing a heroic act but then i did a reality doesn't matter if you bodybuild or have six-packs, height is a definite advantage and he had it!. While i am thinking all of this, the ladies are discussing and suddenly the prettiest of the two comes up to me and asks or rather begs me to act like i am with them and save them from the creep. She said it while giving a really cute puppy dog pout ...and an almost heart-melting look on her face.

BUT i said are you F-word crazy ?...look at the height of that off. And i started running...i don't know what happened afterwards but i did hear noises...

No i am just kidding, and the situation certainly wasn't funny. I agreed and stopped. The guy stopped too. I stood there while holding strong eye contact with him for a few secs then he turn around and started walking towards a street. I stood there until he disappeared and went back to the ladies. But they weren't satisfied...he is going to chase us again. Okies i said, let me walk with you to your home. Let me draw a map of the area

The creep went to St(reet).1 and i along with ladies to St.2. However, the ladies still weren't satisfied, standing in front of their home, they said the creep is still following them and would note their home address.

I was genuinely pissed off at that point, Seriously ladies i have come so long with you, busted that jerk, piggybacked you to your home and still you're worried that jerk is following you, come on i bet he has a life and must have something better to do than following cougars with whom he doesn't seem to have any chance at all!.

But i had agreed to help and so couldn't leave them until they're fully satisfied. So i went back towards where the alley was and lo and behold! the creep was standing there with back to the wall listening to his iPod!. Are you kidding me ?.This guy deserved to hold the CREEPiest guy of the Planet award.

I run up to him and tell him to fuck-off, why the fuck is he still there ?. He replies with "things aren't what they seem and that those ladies are not "okay", i shouldn't be with them". Wow i shouldn't be with them so he can stalk them ?. I tell him to fuck-off and leave. Tension in the air...i stare at that creep and after a while he starts walking towards a car, sits in it and disappears. Guess he must have called his friends to bring the car cause he did get here in the bus with me or maybe he lived there ?. I've no idea.

I get back to the ladies, talk a bit. They tell me this guy had been following them from the mall and got on the bus with them. I assure them everything's fine now and that they should probably report to police if they ever see him again. They thank me and invite me inside. I excuse myself. But they're seriously insisting on coming inside and i mean seriously!. The pretty lady hold my arms, making it her mission to touch me with her body and insists.

Not good and too fishy...i thought. Okay she's hot and really really soft but why is she insisting so much then i remember what the creep said "these ladies aren't okay" i decide i have to run now!. Besides i overheard them talking about their daughter in the bus. So i guessed they must be married. No, i don't want to put myself in this mess, for all i know her spouse could be a protective drunk sob and steal my awesome cellphone and shirt (<3) so DESPITE the warm invitation and her soft embrace, i excuse myself, tell them i am late and run towards my dorm. She tells me to be in touch with that heart-melting face again.....yes i will my lady i will be in 'touch'

Back at dorm, I tell this to my friends and they advise i should've gone inside! but it all felt weird and suspicious....while in front of their home, i saw a guy or rather a man on the balcony staring at us and then disappear inside as i saw him. I thought why didn't he come and help.

The next morning,  while walking past that street, i decide to take a peek and go towards her home. And notice a huge PadLock on the front door!. Yes they had left. A week later, i saw a new family move in there.

I don't know the exact answer to why they did that because i never saw them again. But thinking about it, it comes down to two cases....either my bad feelings about them in the bus were correct and it was some kind of trap to lure me and steal my underwears OR the poor ladies left the place because of that creep, after all i can't be with them all the time and the creep probably had figured their address.

I'd go with the latter and prove myself as the way a girl who gives the cutest puppy dog looks could do or think of doing anything so bad....but my friend tells me never trust hot women...he's just jealous obviously.

That touch she gave me still feels so warm.....

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A bitter truth...

I wouldn't say we guys really think like that lol, that'd be crazy but to be honest, its kind of disgusting when you see your girlfriend just come out and have her hands and body still wet, its certainly not arousing. And i am talking from personal experience hehe, so girls, please don't hate us if we come up with some excuses to want to have a little space at that moment, its just nature.

We really secretly want to believe girls are purest form of nature like pearls or crystals ^_^.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Welcome to my CAVE

Hi there, welcome to my cave. Don't worry, my cave is all lighted and warm, unlike the ones you see in movies. Let me start off by introducing myself and my little katie

I am Steyn with a capital S and friends call me Steyny. I am a student of Nerds(computers) Sciences and my passion in computers is to program a virtual girl that would cook and do laundry for me without asking anything in return. Hehe not really, Fun stuff about me
  • I absolutely love photography and taking pictures of interesting things, making videos. 
  • I am very artsy and can draw a stick figure of anybody in less than 5 mins. 
  • I love being social and spending most of my time outdoors, i would proudly say i am attention-whore cause i just love being centre of attention and i always get the attention i want. 
  • My female friend once called me a player but i disagree, i just love girls with makeup!. Which is why i run away the next morning when it wears off hahaa.

I refuse to take shit from anyone and got the muscles to back it up, im very athletic and love sleeping in Gym. I love to travel and speak 4 languages, 5 if cats talk is considered a language. Oh did i introduce Katie, i have a cute little cat which loves to Meow and jump. She loves girls just like me and i think she's a lesbian.

Ok, enough about me. What you can expect from this blog is generally fun and interesting stuff and sometimes just bullshit, i want to share my adventures in dating life and things i find fun in life, music, movies, nerd science and lots of other stuff.

So sit tight in my cave, have a cup of coffee or beer or alcohol if you like and let me turn on the TV to see my life there.

Steyny out.