Friday, December 23, 2011

FML Post

I fuckin hate myself. At least i have gym to take my anger out but i am so pissed off from myself. FML

I need to work on my goals and act a fucking adult. ARGHHHHHHHH

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Pitbull erection for Jennifer Lopez....

Seems to the hot news lately.Pitbull having an erection for jennifer lopez. I'll let you decide after seeing this photos.

Seems pretty real, however pitbull wears sports cups so you never know it might be that. But really, what do you expect ?. Jennifer Lopez is hot and when she bends like that, any straight man should get massive boner, if not, they might need erectile dysfunction medicines. At least he didn't let it affect him and his voice is still the same whilst singing the song.

You know, this might be asked from pitbull or jennifer lopez, J LO especially cause she would definitely have felt that and can better tell if it was a sports cup or .......

I still like Pitbull and he pulled a public boner in front of crowd of thousands/millions watching on TV, thats ballsy enough for me. And i like ballsy, show em what you got the caveman style!. Telling everyone straight, this my lady and i can't wait to get in that sweet ass.

....that kind of makes me jealous :(...

Check the full song out...

Pitbull Rain Over Me Erection Live Jennifer Lopez Papi American Music Awards AMA 2011

Sunday, November 13, 2011

This is crazy or what are you people looking for here ?

I have been noticing a lot of traffic for this blog and while its pretty pleasing to see so many people coming here and reading what i write...i wonder how come this blog is doing way better than my site lol. Long-time readers of the blog would know i own and run a game hacking/ game trainers site called "dEViATED Game Trainers" and i put more effort advertising-wise and time-wise there than this blog, still its not doing much.

Well, what the hell, i don't mind. It would be really nice though if you people drop some comments as well instead of being anonymous visitors. That should motivate me to write more.

No images for this post as i am very low on time, currently working on a Elder Scrolls 5 Skyrim trainer and L.A Noire and Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 trainer for dEViATED (pheww!!) but i'd drop by some youtube videos that are my favorites and anyone that i shared with have laughed their asses off.

Show me your genitalia women!. A song for the chicks, you should watch it to know what we guys really want from you.

OGFurious's Rebecca Black - Friday Analysis.

Everybody has done their own parody of Rebecca black's friday song but OGFurious is just fucking hilarious, nobody can beat him. Its not a parody or a mock, he actually analyzes the song word by word and tells us what rebecca really wants to say with her song.

I am a fan of that guy and he's a chick pickup artist just like me....we're the good guys ^_^.

On a sidenote, i think i maybe getting back my social life since my university starts in a few and i won't have much time for training games anymore.

Besides, the day i did my first approach ever of a girl is coming quick and i hope to do another approach on the same day or at least somewhere near that. Wish me some guts hehe since the approach anxiety is skyhigh this time. Any girls, please drop a love comment and it sure is to reduce my anxiety, you know you want to because you love me right ? xD

NO PS this time :(

PS: Actually there is a PS. I just noticed 2 spam comments were caught, what the obama balls?!! I don't think you'll earn a single visitor off this blog since the visitor count is like loww...really low!.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Got my first Paycheck! SWEET

The whole time i have been out of blogging, i was working on a lot of things, nothing dating related and interesting as far as the adventurous and funny stuff i try to do to make my life and this blog more interesting. I am not ashamed to say the only dating related thing i have done for the past year is just talking online through MSN/Emails with like 2/3 girls because i have been really busy, not my absolute best and also cause girls need time and are crazy for emotional drama, none of which i could afford.

And something really really awesome has happened. I earned my first pay check and have the money in my hands right now. And i have to tell you, it feels really really amazing, its like feeling being a man. Losing your virginity is something but when you can proudly say i can support myself, that is way better. Although it is just $110 but what is impressive is it is through my Entrepreneurship and not working for someone. That is how i want to spend my life, being independent and my own man whenever i want to work or not, that is my choice to make, not an assholish boss!. Collectively, i have probably earned like $400+ still being a student. The passion this man right now has is untouchable fellas!.

It is not like i haven't earned anything before, my first real payment i received for a work i did was when i was 20 but it was online, this is the first time i can physically touch the currency bills. This adds to my list of Firsts , the list i made impressed from the sexy Nikki Reed's movie and i have been slowly adding awesome things to it.

In other news, a girl has been stalking me to death, the only reason i talk to her is probably because i have known her for ages and i know exactly what is her problem. I try to help her as much as i can but she has the art of twisting words which makes her a "bitch" really. All the girls i have been with are awesome, sexy and more sexy with their normal emotional drama you expect from a girl. But this one is crazy and i guess she makes my list of firsts for i am bearing the drama for so long, funnily enough there is no reason for her drama than her imaginary friends giving her crazy thoughts about the real people. Having imaginary friends when you're 2 is fine but when you discover your first boner, your imaginary friends should find their own imaginary friends.  I am probably going to make a change of address, nicknames and be more anonymous.

You'd think being a guy, i have it easy or i like being stalked but let me tell you, it is just as annoying as a girl being stalked, even more because i am not worried about make-up or my body image or if my ass looks fat  or my left boob is bigger than right but i have to deal with real issues.

That is it for now, i'll try to get back to the dating game but with so much going on, it seems impossible. I have been really passionate about my life goals and working each day now to achieve them. One of them includes flying over to the United States Of Great America or Britain since i live the life of those cultures already and then travel the cool countries of the world. I am too shallow a person to even bother to look the 3rd world countries on the map, but honestly who will be interested in corrupt government, ugly and deadly diseases and more stalker girls even though they maybe sexy but there's only so much an awesome guy can handle.

PS: Did anyone watch the Miss Universe 2011 ? My friend told me about it and i have to tell you, i was like what the fuck was that ?. I thought it was a competition for the most sexy and a full package of a girl getting the crown of glory, the crown that tells the world that this is the girl whole world is crazy about and will give their life just to see a look of starry eyes in her for him, the girl that'll make lesbians proud for being lesbians but the current Miss Universe, mind you Universe! is more like Miss No-one wants to Bang and why don't you cook me the sand-witch already instead of being ugly all the time. Sorry but uglies really have no feelings.

I actually feel she got the award because she could speak some Portuguese and the contest was held in Brazil. They should have crowned Miss Brazil then  , my turtle can speak Portuguese and Zambola but he doesn't get to be crowned the sexy turtle even though he may have MORE turtle girls stalking him, more sexiness points than Miss-Good-For-Kitchen will ever have even if she plastic surgery the fuck out of her face, boobs and sticks a plastic fake ass, ugly stays ugly. Don't believe me ? my turtle...
  Look at that sexy tail and 3 legs!, Pure pawnge, you make me soo proud!.

Now this is Miss Sexy Angola!
If that makes me shallow, then my DICK is the epitome of NOT SHALLOW i don't need to tell you why, he likes to live in ugly, dark, greasy places just like Miss SEZZY is above!.

Reason number 2 i think she got the universe award is for political correctness and judges trying to be NOT racist. But this is the height of racism, just calling blacks a nigger doesn't a racist make but the opposite of that and stripping white sexy girls of their rightful award, just for making the black president and your ugly black wife -who you cheat on with white goats - a racist make too!.
 Oops...My white goat is offended too, actually Miss Angola would make a better Miss Sexy Goat than my white goat. No offense whitie

This is also another example of the bullshit that is feminism. And if they wanted to choose a black girl, there are way more sexy black girls that at least more than only Angola seezy people would agree on.

You can bet your white ass if there was a Mr.Sexy Planet award, Barracks Obama would win it by miles, not because he is black but because he has the ridiculously long dick that makes mule proud. Okay that makes no sense but i digress.

That is all i have to say, i think Miss Smelly Pantz made some sort of contract with big TV and anti-depressants shizzler companies to help crown her seezy ass since the broken TVs and suicidal white goats purchasing anti-depressants and "make-black-seezy-goat" creams would make these companies pay big to crown her the seezy title. The world is full of conspiracy peeps.....i just shat my pantz!

PS2: These are the personal opinions of my turtle, i don't claim any responsibility for broken seezy hearts and black sheeps riots for them not being crowned instead, but really no-one except them is to blame for they let their own kind compete for the title. Unlike human world, turtles have freedom of speech and don't have to be called racists for openly praising white goats and criticizing black seezy sheep...woops i mean Leila Lopes.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Perfect GiRLFRiEND - I wish my girlfriend was like this

Is there such thing as a “Perfect Girlfriend” probably not but there are 10 traits we would love to see our women come equipped with. The chances of your girl to be 10 of 10 is pretty much a fantasy but I assume there are 1 or 2 out there amongst the 4 billion women roaming planet Earth.

1. Loves Sports

Even if she is one of those awful girls who act like a super fan as soon as a team gets good. I will take that in order to be able to talk sports and go to games with her, there’s nothing more guys love than sports and babes.

2. Has A Pretty Face

Yes a pretty face, not a club girl face with caked on make up and duck lips, that kind of face crashes and burns after 25 years old. Pretty faces last forever.

3. Has An Awesome Body

We don’t need you to have a 6 pack and 1% body fat, but as long as you are fit and care somewhat about your bod we are happy.

4. Loves To Cook

Even if the only thing she can cook is grilled cheeses that’s cool. Men love grilled cheeses so we would be happy with a fresh grilled chee every night, as long as you cook them naked from time to time as well.

5. Loves Video Games

Video games rule, sorry women but we are going to play them until we are 90 arguing with 8 year old nerds and calling them newbs. So if you can get a girl that will play an xbox game online with you from time to time you know you got a keeper.

6. Loves To Drink

We don’t want a Frank the Tank type drinker, but we want a girl who is excited to go out on the weekends and get a little typsy with us. A girl who thinks she is too mature to go out and get drunk with her boyfriend and friends is just plain lame.

7. Loves To Party

This goes hand and hand with drinking but more so towards just wanting to go out and have fun. Go to concerts, trips, whatever is fun and let’s us party through out the night with our chick.

8. Loves To Share

This is pretty much just a one in a million fantasy that every man has, yea it probably won’t happen but it would be cool if you bring home a girl for some triple play action.

9. Respects Time Out With Guy Friends

Sometimes girls just don’t understand why we want to go out with the guys. It is nothing against the girl, guys just need to be able to have a night every now and then to talk like animals, drink like wolves, and make fun of eachother, that’s what we do.

10. Loves Me For Me

I’m no Fabio, I pretty much look like the guy above. Guys aren’t the most pleasant thing to look at, so women don’t try to change your man, he is what he is. Changing him to fit your perfect vision is only going to last for a short while until it blows up in your face.

BONUS: Write notes likes this to us every now and then

Sunday, January 16, 2011

It is like i am having a period or something......and i am a GUY!!!....This is NOT normal

No offense to the ladies of course. I couldn't find another analogy so this has to do, sorry if it seems out of place,  the feelings i have been going through lately, seem equivalent to feelings that girls experience during that time of month, well just the sadness, depression and mood swings, of course i am not leaking anything. Before i proceed any further, let me say what i am going to write next is pretty embarrassing to admit for me cause its very girly and i feel my manhood violated writing this which is why i may delete it later.

So in my previous entry i mentioned quitting my own team, well the recent update is that i took over it again and my best bud left instead, breaking all forms of contact and just being a bitch towards me. Its over between us, which is what is saddening me at the moment.

I mean GOD DAMN IT, we were friends for a DECADE  and not just friends, best fucking buds, we laughed at same jokes, we would share the stories of  how we met a girl at some location or how to approach certain girl that i/him is interested in, how i witnessed a 59 year old hooker's spicy argument with her customer, or that he knows his classmate girl's underwear pattern (it was full of hearts).....and so many other millions things...

So it fuckin hurts man, and even though i am a guy, its RIGHT to feel sad for breaking up with a best bud right ?. I don't know how long my sadness will continue, for the record i have NOT cried, what the fuck why would you even think like that, i am NOT a girl. Just being depressed as a guy is fine though and im depressed because my bud ended our friendship.

I just watched a video i made for him ages back and it reminded me of him and i am feeling sad now. And i feel pissed as well, so i do things to piss him off, but then i feel sad and the cycle continues, which is why i said i feel like a girl. All my life, i associated these sort of cycle of emotions (rightfully) with girls, they be crazy...and i know how to make them act sane but i can't control myself even though i know how.

I know i am going to repeat over the same thing again and again which is honestly what the above paragraphs are, "i feel sad" x 100 times, but I AM FEELING SAD, so i don't care what this post may look like ultimately.

I miss you bitch, if you're reading this, then here you got a confession from me.



I am out and promise will try to NOT post such emotional posts anymore!. BUT i am going through tough times now so.............i am SADDDDDDDDDD

PS: If you find any mistakes or generally find this post weird, its cause i didn't even decide to look back and edit it 10000 times like i usually do with my every post. I just burst my emotions and yeah thats how i do it, scolding myself and then be sad and then scolding andn  ddsahdjsdkajdsldsdhdjlsdasdsad

PS2: My next entry is going to be "Girls have it easy..." i feel like advertising! 

PS3: If you want to make me feel better, you can do so by commenting, visiting my site, or if your a girl, just msn stalking me, no dates i am a mess now!.

PS4: yes i will continue making a lot of PSsssss 

PS5: OMG check this out, Dakota Fanning Period BLOOD!  The post finally ends on something interesting for ya!!
I am half-curious what is that ?? and if its just a publicity-stunt ?
well she grabbed my attention so w00tt 

PS45443: I am still SADDD :(

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Never do business with your best friend!....or any friend at all

NEVER do business with your friends or someone close to you

Because you will regret it and things will get worse and all you will have to deal with is a broken friendship and lots of disappointment. I guess i should have listened to this, my favorite actor in a movie said so even lol. Ah well, i am an ass for thinking otherwise, all i have left now is a blog entry.

It all started out few years back, you all know i am a coder and reverse engineer, so i started out a team and my this friend -- lets just call him Kem -- joined in with me. I said cool because he is my best friend and what can be better than having a best friend join in. It can only mean good things.....only if i knew.

Fast forward years later to now or the past few months, the team that i started has grown up and its doing amazing. It is among the top groups and competing with other groups in the business. Let me draw a graph to show you where it stands in comparison to other groups in business.
contrary to what many think, no blood was used to draw
 the red color in the above sketch

So as obvious from the above helpful sketch, the team was in position to gain nation-wide fame and i could be sitting next to an old fart giving interview on CNN/BBC about how it all started. But what happened instead was, i started to realize, i don't have power over my own fucking team for fuck's sake!. Let me elaborate.

I wanted to put advertisements on the site because it makes it look professional and i needed some revenue to help raise my kids, buy gifts for my girlfriend -- nope, nothing like what hillary duff got but close, and start a cookie factory because i love cookies!. But nay, Kem thinks its a bad idea and in a fight discloses the content of his mind. Before i go ahead, let me just say, this was our 2nd fight in the whole decade!. 

So in the fight, besides bashing my idea of ads, he goes on and criticize or rather bash my decision of kicking a member out because i thought he was an asshole from hell and deserved to stay there. Guys, a fight with strangers is cool but with best friend of a decade is not, it hurts and it sucks. So suffice to say, we got cool again but it was no fun like the old times. I still couldn't do what i wanted(ads) so what do i do ?.

I leave my own team, i don't know if you can call it stupid or what, leaving my own team but i thought this is the best decision for the team. Because i am an ass like that and i care about a stupid team and the people who joined me. And because if i kick my best friend and then do whatever i want with the team, that would end my friendship with him. So after 4 years of giving all my time and efforts to a team and bringing it to a point where its ready to bring fruition and rain revenue and money, i have to leave it to salvage a friendship because friendship is more important to me than my team. It sucks, a lot, to be honest!, i fucking feel sad and bad about leaving it but i had to, it was inevitable. Either of us had to, so i volunteered. Call me stupid, i won't mind.

Lets me head back and analyze how things could have been different. I start my own team, i give my friend position as a member instead of partner, things continue, today i could do whatever i want with it without any harm to the friendship. I think this article i just read, best explains it. Its a genius. Never mix social norms with market norms or you'll be blogging like me now instead of being on an awesome TV show.

Let me end this post on a positive note though, by giving you information about the team i founded and some of the stuff i did for it. To start off, the team name was (i am referring to it as "was" even though it exists because its not my team anymore) dEViATED - Clicky to go there. What its about is, it is a hacking team that hacks or trains games and build programs called Trainers. Basically making the game do whatever the team or the game-hacker wants it to do and the programs are programmed with such options. E.g a trainer with infinite health will give you infinite health in the game. Most of the times, these trainers comes with cool animations the team call demos/intros and sometimes their own mini-game environment (actually i am the revolutionizer and the first guy to do it ). So its a mini culture kind of thing with their own terms and rules. It requires skills but once you get in and get the hang of it, its pretty cool and not to mention, business worthy.

Let me show some of my work i did. This is probably going to be my only entry about such nerdy stuff because i suppose its boring for most of you unless you are into games and such things or a teenager. So here comes my awesome creation and proof that i can code and program.
^To a naked human eye the above program appears simple but
you'd need a microscope to realize the delicacy and lines of code
required to code such a program! 

And, my another and last program screenshot you will ever see, where i bring my awesomeness as usual. Seeing these program would make you realize i am a closet-nerd-cum-social-extrovert who loves to party when its the time and invent crazy software just like a mad scientist!.

Who would have ever guessed those clouds in the picture above would
have been the reason the whole England, Germany and New York is buried
under snow!. Who would have ? They look so innocent yet they aren't!

So lets me repeat the number 1 rule of business and recall what my fav actor said in my favorite movie so i'd never do such mistake again...

Never do business with your friends! 

What if the friend is a female ? What then ?. I have no idea, i guess its okay then ? Maria what do you think, i think my next business partner is going to be Maria because this rule doesn't apply when the partner is female....right ?

Right ?

PS: You could control Mario and let him run till he tired and jumps out of the screen to scream STOP!. If anyone is interested, i could provide the executables. But maybe i would not because...because i don't know. Stop asking so many questions.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2 thousand and eleven or 2011....Yes the year you will get dumped...!

Okay, so apparently everyone and their mother has been blogging about the new year and merrymaking and wishing happy joy for the coming year. Its cool alright, but come on, didn't we do it the year that passed ?, it gets boring and lets be honest how many times the resolutions we make actually make it to reality.

I hate being boring and being consistent and predictive, it is for this reason, this post isn't your usual happy new year post, okay it is but it is a lot more than that. In that, i'll give you the rundown of what i did on the night everyone was waiting anxiously for the 0 to turn to 1 (how nerdy!) and what happened to me the whole year, because OMG it was some awesome shit and i bet my year has been a lot interesting than most of you...

To start, I received comments from a girl that said (her words exactly!)
You are narcissistic to the point that if you could, you would turn yourself into a girl and marry yourself!...
You mean a Hermaphrodite ? I am not too sure i'd want to become that but yes, i'd definitely marry myself because i honestly don't mind alone time and love hanging out with myself and am happy as a cow (or is it happy as donkey or a duck ? ) Still, i let girls enjoy my awesome company, because i am ironically also self-less like that and not selfish at all!. In fact i am so self-less, on any given night or day, i am surrounded by them and i let them have a piece of me, i lost 15 pounds already!. Blog entry coming soon about that.

^That comment was received just hours ago so that makes my first compliment received for the year 2011!.

Continuing on, I made my first new year resolution about doing Firsts!. I got my first blog follower, greets to that awesome lady for being my first follower!. I completed that resolution i made within hours of making it. That just adds awesome points.

I got myself involved in my first car accident in 2010 and of course i survived although i lost 584 brain cells. Yes i know that much because i have 1000 cells total and if i had lost anything more than that, i would have been blogging.....wait i am blogging....shit lets not make it anymore confusing. The accident wasn't pleasant, not at a all and a pretty bad experience so thats a little sad moment there :(.

I made a friend in the most weird of ways, by trying to be awkward around a complete stranger (just for fun), turns out the more i tried to be awkward the more we started to get along well. Now he is my new friend and loves my taste in women (seriously, i have no idea if i should be happy about it).

I won a programming contest and hit on a programmer girl in the event. She was total cutie but unfortunately no phone exchanges as it was a programming contest and we had a bitchy organizer there who didn't look pleased with our little small talk. I guess that makes my list of Firsts as well. A programmer girl i First hit on. Oh she made some sort of facial recognition program so that was totally cool!. Yes, i'd be in touch with her once i get a chance to go there again.

So this past year, i approached a girl that i think was my first 10, i almost got my ass busted....because of a girl, i got my ass kicked by a girl's boyfriend, i ran like a crazy after a girl who was an athlete, i saved two damsels in distress...wait that was 2 years back, i hit on hot Nurses (wtf you ask ?), i got surrounded by a group of 5 girls all wanting a piece of me, i smoked cigs, i didn't do cocaine - never will, i took a ride in a Mercedes-Benz!, i posted on other blogs, i got in a fight with a commentator on another blog, i started my own blog then i ate, i slept, i farted and blogged about it .....

So you see i did a lot of things this year because people do a lot of things and i am people...right ?. I plan to do a lot of things next year, one of which includes coming out of this screen and
punching you in the face

because i love you!. Did you know turtles can fart ?

So Happy New Year everyone, i hope in this new year, each one of you get single so i can date as many of your exes as i can, because...well i don't know why i would want to date your ex. You see i don't know about a lot of things so

Happy New Year bitches!  :-D

PS: How was your year ?

PS2: The title is completely random so don't worry, i am NOT predicting anything, although it may be true!